bitter love, a violet with its crown
by Batdz Angel
Summary: She wishes she could close the chasm between her and the man she loves. [Elizabeth POV, Turrow]


**Title:** _bitter love, a violet with its crown  
_**Disclaimer:** I don't own Pirates of the Caribbean. If I did, I wouldn't be writing this. I also don't own the poem quoted here, it is by the incredible Pablo Neruda.  
**Rating:** PG-13 for mentions of a homosexual couple.  
**Pairing(s)/Character(s):** Elizabeth POV, mentions of Jack/Will, Will/Elizabeth, Jack/Elizabeth, and slight femme slash.  
**Spoilers:** All of CotB and DMC.  
**Genre:** Angst  
**Summary:** She wishes she could close the chasm between her and the man she loves.  
**Author's Notes:** Well, my muse started knocking. He said, "I want some Will/Jack. Write me some." So I did. Here's hoping I'm not too rusty at the Pirates fic, even though I've only written one other that wasn't quite up to par.

--

_Bitter love, a violet with its crown  
__of thorns in a thicket of spiky passions,  
__spear of sorrow, corolla of rage: how did you come  
__to conquer my soul? What via dolorosa brought you?_

_Why did you pour your tender fire  
__so quickly, over my life's cool leaves?  
__Who pointed the way to you? What flower,  
__what rock, what smoke showed you where I live?_

_Because the earth shook-it did-, that awful night;  
__then dawn filled all the goblets with its wine;  
__the heavenly sun declared itself;_

_while inside a ferocious love wound around  
__and around me-till it pierced me with its thorns, its sword,  
__slashing a seared road through my heart. III, Pablo Neruda_

The look in Will's eyes makes her heart die a little; she wishes to take him aside and explain why she tricked Jack. She's certain that she could convince him to understand her actions. Somewhere to her left, glee spills from Tia Dalma's lips but the witch does not look at her. She merely turns to Jack, kneeling down to peer at him. Her dark hands clutch his face as she says something in a language Elizabeth does not understand; whatever it is makes Jack opens his eyes briefly, almond-colored orbs peering at the woman before shutting again.

Tia Dalma rises and turns to Will, saying lowly, "He be needin' your help, William."

She watches as Will obliges, his broad shoulders blocking Jack from her view. She looks away as Will's voice speaks to Jack softly, gently as if he is a skittish mare. When she looks back, Jack's fingers are clutching at Will's shoulders as he struggles to his feet, his usual grace gone. "Jack," Will says and the _concern_ makes her stomach clench; she turns to look at him.

She cannot face the truth of this yet, but she also cannot look away. Tia Dalma's hand grips her arm suddenly, nails digging into her flesh as Will and Jack make their way slowly to where the others wait. She watches them walk farther away from her, her breath coming out in short gasps. Jack leans heavily against Will, his body trembling with the sheer strength it takes to walk. Will gently guides him, giving him his strength.

She wishes she could close the chasm between her and the man she loves.

"Be careful what you wish for, girl," Tia whispers into her ear. "You just might get it."

--

She finds Will sitting alone on the deck of the newly resurrected _Pearl_. He sits on a crate, head buried in his hands, legs spread in a pose of utter misery and pain. Gibbs is at the helm with Anna-Maria at his side; the female pirate had saved them all from death and joined their quest without hesitation. Elizabeth knew that the dark-skinned woman detested her, even more now that she knew of her actions against Jack during the Kraken's attack on the _Pearl_.

She cannot find the energy to blame her. Will's shoulders stiffen as she comes near and she says, weakly, "Will?" hoping that he will not turn her away.

He lifts his head; the pain and sadness in his eyes makes her heart twist. She thinks if she were a man, he would strike her without hesitation. She rubs her hand along her thighs, wiping them against her breeches as she says hesitantly, "Will, if you would allow me to explain..."

"Explain what, Elizabeth?" he asks, voice deadly cold. "Explain how you didn't even allow Jack a chance to fight? How you tricked not only a good man but also everyone else? How you played God with a human being's life?"

Desperation colors her words. "If he were a good man," she says somewhat bitterly. "It would not have been necessary. Jack would have made the sacrifice without any hesitation but he ran away! Surely you can see that what I did was our only option."

"If you believe," Will says as he rises swiftly to his feet. "That Jack would have allowed us all to die by that monster then you don't know him at all."

"Will, please..."

"I am not returning to Port Royal," he continues, shattering her world. "There is nothing for me there." He looks out towards the sea, jaw clenching. "There never has been."

Tears blur her vision. "You will not even allow me the benefit of the doubt?" She asks. "You will not even give me a little bit of trust?"

Will whirls to face her, eyes flaring with fury. "Trust, Elizabeth? You _condemned_ a man to death. You judged him and played _God _with a life." He shakes his head. "The girl I loved would have never done such a thing."

"I did it for _you_," she cries as her tears spill down her cheeks. "I did it for _us_, Will, you must believe me!"

"No," he says as he turns his head away. "No, Elizabeth, you did it for _yourself_. Whatever made you doubt in trusting me? Whatever made you think I would leave you?"

It was _there_; that dark secret neither of them had ever touched upon. That dark secret neither of them had ever mentioned, that dark secret that had festered in her heart as she watched Will follow Jack without hesitation. That dark, black secret that she hadn't wanted to acknowledge but had _seen_ with her own two eyes: that Jack had _looked_ at Will with something in his dark eyes that had made her palms itch.

"He stole you from me," she whispers before she can stop herself. "You were _mine_, Will."

Will says nothing; he merely stares her with an expression she can't decipher. It was so much easier to read him before, she thought, before Jack swept into their lives like a thunderstorm. She takes a deep breath and says, "You're so _good_, Will. It's so _easy_ for you to judge me. So easy because you don't know what it's like to watch the one you love leave you..."

"I watched you from afar for ten years," Will says lowly. "I was the bloody joke of the Navy; the poor, pitiful blacksmith in love with Norrington's intended. So don't you dare _assume_ what I know, _Miss Swann_." He straightens his shoulders and says curtly, "Now if you'll excuse me..."

Tia Dalma appears then, backlit by the lights from the Captain's Cabin. She does not acknowledge Elizabeth's presence, instead calls to Will, saying, "He calls for you, William Turner."

Will nods his head at the witch and brushes past her. She tries to speak but the words will not come. He pauses and her heart leaps with hope. He looks up at the sky and then back at her. "Goodbye Elizabeth," he says quietly and then he is gone.

Tia Dalma studies her as she stands, wordlessly watching Will vanish into the cabin, the door shutting behind him. She shuts her eyes tightly as fresh tears spill down her cheeks. A quiet laugh has her eyes opening as she stares at the witch, demanding, "What do you want?"

Tia Dalma chuckles. "You 'ave no idea 'bout anythin'."

"You do not know _me_," Elizabeth snaps, anger burning in her throat. "So do not assume what I know!"

"You burn with shame an' jealousy, girl," the witch snaps as she steps forward. "Jealous dat you did not catch the eye o' wicked Jack. Dat what you did to him did not make a difference." A sly, slow smirk spreads across her features and a light enters her dark eyes. "You learnin' da hardest lesson of love."

"What could _you _possibly tell me of love?"

The witch crowds her until they are nose to nose. "Don't push me, child," she warns, her dark eyes flashing. "I ain't no man who'll be blinded by a pair of creamy shoulders an' fluttery eyes." She narrows her eyes, adding, "You want to know why?"

Before Elizabeth knows what is happening, the witch has pressed her lips against her own mouth, and she feels as if she is falling, falling into a deep abyss. She finds herself watching Will and Jack over the years, watching them as they age and change before her very eyes. Will grows even more handsome as time goes on, the lines of his face giving him a distinguished air. Jack's hair become more gray as time goes on, his face as youthful as ever as time moves over him. She can feel the love between them, a living thing that warms her to the deepest part of her soul...

She blinks and finds herself on the deck of the _Pearl_, Tia Dalma watching her with a surprisingly kind smile. She tips her head and says wisely, "An' now you know, Elizabeth Swann."

Somehow, she can't find the energy to nod.

--

Jack sleeps peacefully, face smoothed out and looking younger than his years. She hesitates at the door, but persists as she pads across the wooden floor to his side. Sitting gingerly in the empty chair, she worries her lip between her teeth as she studies the pirate: taking in the wild hair, the high cheekbones, and the full mouth.

She stares blankly at him for a few minutes, eyes staring without really seeing. His voice startles her out of her stupor, quiet and hoarse. "'Lo luv," he says weakly. She blinks and looks into his eyes.

"Hello Jack," she says.

He blinks up at her sleepily and says, "I hear you're leavin' my _Pearl_." He grins, revealing a faint sliver gold. "Not suited to the pirate life, then?" She ignores the question, instead she replies, "My father is waiting for me in Port Royal. I miss him dearly and wish to resume my real life."

Jack's brows arch at her words but he does not comment on them. Rather, he says casually, "From what I gathered, Will is stayin'." His eyes gleam briefly. "At least, that's what he's sayin' to me." She flinches and Jack's eyes flash with something akin to triumph. "Ah," he murmurs. "So it _is_ true, then. You've gone and lost the boy."

"You and I both know," she retorts angrily as she glares at him. "That I did nothing of the kind." She clutches the hem of her tunic in her hands. "You took him from me."

"And?" Jack challenges as he narrows his eyes at her. "What would you have me say, young missy? Do you wish for me to apologize? That man would have died a thousand times over for you. You knew that; I suspect you aren't that dense." He arches his brow at her and adds, "But you had be _sure_ that Will was only yours, Elizabeth. Had to see if ol' Jack would take the bait."

"You didn't fight me."

"I didn't respond either."

Jealousy clogs her throat and Jack suddenly looks tired, his eyes fluttering shut. "If Will," he says after a moment of silence. "Had chosen you, I would be angry and jealous as well."

"You would do anything to keep him," she accuses, her anger flaring again. "Anything to beat me."

Jack laughs weakly as he coughs. "No," he says. "I would let him go with you, lass." He yawns suddenly, eyes closing. "It would've killed me but I would've let him go..."

She flees the cabin and does not go back.

--

Port Royal looks so inviting; she can feel her heart beat an excited tattoo beneath her breast. It has been months since she has seen her home, months since she has seen her father. She turns to see Gibbs ordering the crew about, the jolly boat being lowered promptly to the sea. A flash of brown catches her eyes and she watches Anna-Maria vanish into the cabin, returning momentarily with Tia Dalma.

The witch pauses to watch the boat being lowered then turns towards the cabin door. Will walks out, his arm around Jack's waist. The pirate captain is still weak, his legs not strong enough yet to support his weight. It does not matter as Will is always at his side and she reflects on the fact that seeing them together does not choke her with anger anymore.

She has had time to reflect on herself and Will over the past few months. The whirlwind of their engagement had, she suspected, created the crack in their relationship more effectively than Jack ever could. She supposed it was her own fault for denying what she could feel inside of her own skin.

Gibbs clambers down the boat swiftly, calling orders to the crew. She turns to face Will for the last time and hesitates. Tia Dalma watches her like a hawk, she knows as she approaches the two men.

"Will," she says and he looks at her, hazel eyes warming slightly.

"Elizabeth," he says and there is no rancor in his voice. Time on a ship tempers arguments; especially when Jack had pointed out to him that Elizabeth was just as human as the rest of them and was prone to doing, as he put it, "Stupid things."

There is much she wishes to say; much she wishes to reveal to him.

But she merely says, "Be happy."

Will smiles. "And you," he replies.

She does not look back.

_**Fin**_


End file.
